(a) Heterosexual relationships lost their meaning when my parents got divorced.
(b) I feel empty.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Living Dead
(a) I wish we could live. I mean really live. If only someone would come up to me and tell me that they did more this morning than wake up and wish they could go back to sleep. If only someone would come up to me and say that they looked around during their morning commute to see who else was riding the bus, or what the world looked like outside the comfy leather/scratchy crap seat of their car. I'm like that. I don't live at all. Like a robot, I go through my day, trying my best not to fall apart. Not even enjoying the good things.
(b) But the other day I actually looked outside the window of my dad's Scion and saw a bunch of soccer players in the park (this was about 7 AM) and the sun filtered through the trees so beautifully. I had this mad desire to photograph it, but unfortunately there was no camera. And my photography skills aren't impressive. But if you could have seen it through my eyes, you would have adored it too. The early morning fog made it even better. Even through the window I could feel the cool morning air blowing the players' hair.
(c) And now I've decided that I have to stop living like I'm dead. I never REALLY express myself. I'm just a lemming. Someone who will do what feels right in the situation, not caring if that's what I want. But NO MORE. I'm sick of it. So from now on, when I feel the urge, I'm going to roll down my window and yell "I'M AS MAD AS HELL AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE". Regardless if relatives/friends/human beings are in the vicinity. I want other people to know what I REALLY think.
(d) I've spoken my piece. 'Tis all, my friends.
(b) But the other day I actually looked outside the window of my dad's Scion and saw a bunch of soccer players in the park (this was about 7 AM) and the sun filtered through the trees so beautifully. I had this mad desire to photograph it, but unfortunately there was no camera. And my photography skills aren't impressive. But if you could have seen it through my eyes, you would have adored it too. The early morning fog made it even better. Even through the window I could feel the cool morning air blowing the players' hair.
(c) And now I've decided that I have to stop living like I'm dead. I never REALLY express myself. I'm just a lemming. Someone who will do what feels right in the situation, not caring if that's what I want. But NO MORE. I'm sick of it. So from now on, when I feel the urge, I'm going to roll down my window and yell "I'M AS MAD AS HELL AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE". Regardless if relatives/friends/human beings are in the vicinity. I want other people to know what I REALLY think.
(d) I've spoken my piece. 'Tis all, my friends.
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